Friday, April 22, 2016

April 22, 2016;

It's been a long time since I wrote on this blog, but mostly because my life with school and work has just been overwhelming... If I didn't have something so specific that I felt I needed to write about today then I probably wouldn't be writing today either.

Yesterday (April 21st), I went to a concert.  Surprise. That's not what I want to talk about.  While I was walking to the venue and man on a bike came up to me and stopped handing me a paper about how he was deaf and homeless, and really all he had was his bike.  He was asking for money. 

While I have always been someone who was very into helping people, giving out money to random people has never been something that I have done in my life.  Something inside of me told me something different this time. Now, I don't carry much cash with me every because I am a horrible person and will spend it all without second thought, but I happened to have a single dollar in my wallet.  With no hesitation or second thought this time I reached in my wallet and I pulled out that dollar and gave it to him.  He quickly signed thank you, and because of the show Switched at Birth I was able to sign your welcome back.

Then today I met a friend for dinner and then we went to get her a new purse. Now there is one intersection that almost always has someone sitting with a sign saying "Anything helps" or something along those lines.  Normally I never even look over at them, a sense of I am avoiding eye contact or something.  Maybe that is just a sense of the "Don't talk to strangers" that you are taught as a child still in me, maybe it is something else.  Leaving though, there was a man sitting with a sign, and I pulled up first to the light right as it turned red... Like I said normally I wouldn't even take a glance over at the person, but today I did.  Today I looked over and I saw what looked like pain and sadness in this man's eyes and my heart sunk.  I quickly dug the change I had in my center console out, which probably was only like $0.75-$1, but I did it anyway.  I rolled down my window and quickly gave it to him before the light could turn green.  He just like the man yesterday signed thank you too me in sign language... I'm not entirely sure he was completely deaf because I feel like he heard me say that it was all I had, but I hoped it helped, but maybe he just saw me shuffling as I rolled down the window to lean out, I don't know. 

Now, there is probably someone who is thinking "What if they were just panhandlers, what if they didn't need this money? What if they are just going to go spend it on booze?" and my only response is, I have no way of knowing.  I have no way of knowing if they make money some other way and they really don't need it, but I also have no way of knowing what they possibly could be going through if their lives aren't going well.  I don't regret it at all.  I don't regret giving them that money.  If both of them were just scamming me then damn I lost two dollars tops, but if they both really did need it then maybe even that tiny little bit of money that I had in my bag or in my car was something that will be able to help them get some water or a sandwich off the dollar menu at McDonalds.  If they spend it on booze so be it... All I know is that I did what in my heart felt like the only logical thing that I could have done in these last few days and I am proud to have let myself.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

February 16, 2016;

"Now you sing to me and I still don't believe, that you wanna waste some time with me. Let me sing to you just sit here don't move, I just wanna waste some time with you."

These are lyrics from Saint Asonia's song Waste My Time... Chad sent me a link to the song earlier when we were talking about our weekend and he told me that he hoped that I had a good time and I said of course I had because even though were didn't do anything super exciting it didn't mean that just spending time with him wasn't exciting for me.  Any time that I get to spend with him whether we do anything is always nice.  In the past few hours since being sent that song, it really is just impacting to me for some reason and I can't stop listening to it.

I am going off on a tangent, oh well, no one reads this anyway I'm sure.  If they do they probably don't even know who I am...

Really though, all I can think about right now is how amazing it is to have the kind of relationship that he and I have.  We act like we have been together for years when we have only been together for months.  I think that comes with having known each other for like over two years (I'm talking like really actually spoke to each other known each other, not known known each other because hell we have known OF each other since high school, but this friendship/relationship didn't start until 2013 around September or October).

Really though, our relationship is one that is probably much more mature than normal ones that are at the stage ours is - a little over four months.  As he said, he would think that some people that we know who are even engaged to their significant other would be somewhat jealous of how well we coexist with each other.  We have absolutely no trouble cooking dinner and watching YouTube videos on a Friday night, turning around ordering pizza delivery and playing video games Saturday, then spending Valentine's doing grocery shopping and having Taco Bell for lunch.  We don't have to do anything super special ever, just being able to be with the other seems to be enough.  We have no trouble just "wasting each other's time" together.

It is nice to have someone who you can lounge in sweatpants with and doesn't judge you when you want to wear you anti-candy hearts dress even though you are only going to Target.  Someone who constantly reminds you that they love you and someone who constantly is telling you that they are proud of you.  It is a great feeling to have someone who is 100% for sure in your court, and will be there with you through things.  Someone who is there to remind you that sometimes you really aren't as bad as you think that you are.  Find someone who makes you feel comfortable... there is a saying about how you should let go of the person who constantly is making you feel butterflies and to find the person who makes you feel safe.  In a sense I think that makes perfect sense, while the butterflies are a definite thing and may even happen in a relationship that is going to make you feel safe, feeling safe and feeling cared for, and feeling like someone is going to always be there for you when you need to vent or you need someone to just chill on the couch with is the most amazing feeling.  That is the kind of person that you need.  That is the kind of person who does a really good job at sticking with you through a whole number of things.  Believe me. ♥

Monday, February 1, 2016

Feburary 1, 2016;

Figured that I might as well start the month out on a good foot and make a blog post again.  I haven't done so in a couple of weeks so why not.  Plus it is Monday, which actually usually are my favorite days because I am done with class early, and I don't have to work.

I have to say though, this last weekend was so nice that I wouldn't have minded having another Sunday, which normally isn't something that I would say.

Let's have a run down of my lovely weekend.

My Saturday started as usual, I worked my morning shift from 8:15 to 2:30 at Subway.  It was relatively slow other than a basketball team, but they got they all got the same sandwich which made it go by really quick because they were the simplest ones ever.  Gotta love when teams actually do something easy on the person who is working by themselves, because normally that doesn't happen.

After work though is when my weekend started to change to something that isn't so normal about my weekends.  Normally I spend the weekend at home, doing homework, and napping... Not this weekend.  Nope, I met Chad's parents this weekend so I went home, got ready and then I drove to meet him so that he could drive the rest of the way because he had to come to Walmart to return headphones and then get something else.  Plus, it saved me gas and it meant that I wouldn't get lost trying to get there on my own, which was a likely thing because I am a horrible person and I am really bad with directions.

Meeting the parents is kind of a nerve-racking thing, but as soon as I got there it felt like it was nothing.  I don't know why I was so worried I felt so comfortable there.  I brought my camera, because that was the intentional conversation of why I should come out there anyway because I was talking about how I needed a new place to take pictures because I have exhausted everything around here.  I mean I have been taking pictures here for the last like four-five years.  I am completely out of things to take pictures of. I had to wear, what I am assuming where his mother's boots because it was muddy and I did not have the boots for it.  We came back and I took them off and he was like you didn't have socks? I said I told you that, I only wear socks to work and looked at his mom and was like "She's the perfect woman!" To make more sense of this, he hates socks and top sheets just as much as me which his mom completely doesn't understand so he had to announce it to her that someone else is like him. Anyway,  I'll scatter some of the photos around the post.

Saturday afternoon/night consisted of taking pictures, Chad and I worked on catching up on Game Grumps together, having dinner with his family.  Side note, his mother is a fantastic cook and I think that I ate the best this weekend that I have since like Christmas.  I didn't even know what to do because I don't remember being so full all the time with food that is not something from Subway.  I mean let's be honest I actually am never full when I eat Subway anyway.  Anyway, continuing what else happened.  After dinner Chad and his dad went out to work on something on his car and his mom and I stayed inside to watch some TV.  That turned into both of us managing to fall asleep.  I think that's one of the many things that made me feel really comfortable there because yes, I can sleep just about anywhere and naps are my favorite thing, but even with that being said I have a hard time napping at someone else's house that I have never been to... at least not the first time I was there.  That was pretty much the end of the night because when they finished working on the car his parent's went to bed, Chad and I finished watching the episode of SNL that was one and then went to bed ourselves.

Sunday I think we woke up around seven or so, I don't really know because his room is pitch black and my phone was dead and like 7:03 is when my FitBit said that I woke up and didn't go back to sleep.  Breakfast was ready at like 8:30 or so, so before that we just laid around and watched more Game Grumps videos because that is just what we do.  Sunday was a lazy day.  I actually got to stick around because I had given away my Sunday shift to someone else so that I didn't have to rush home the night before and I am so glad that I did.  It was really nice to be able to just relax with him and his family for the day.  I spoke to his dad about who my mom and aunt and grandpa were until he figured it out. He even dug out a yearbook to see my mom and her twin sister to make sure that they were who he was remembering.  We had lunch, and pretty soon after that Chad needed to leave so that he could take his two and a half hour drive home... Three if you add in the time between his parent's and where he met me.  So he took me back to my car and we both headed home.

I am just really glad that it worked out that I was able to give away my Sunday and was off for the afternoon of Saturday on the weekend that he was home.  It appreciate any time that I get to spend with people that I don't see all the time especially him.  It was also just really nice to be around his family and feel so welcomed there.  There is nothing more that you could ask for from your significant other's family I don't think.  I also believe that it isn't always the case so I am so very happy to be in the position where it was.  Thank you to them for having me and making me feel so comfortable, because I really do appreciate their son very much.

So, here's to a Monday after a lovely weekend! Today isn't a bad day either.

"Wrinkles merely indicate where smiles have been." - Mark Twain


    Friday, January 8, 2016

    January 8, 2016;

    Holy crap, it's already another year.  I didn't write any posts during December just because everything was seriously so crazy that I didn't have a whole lot of time to do much.  Then when it wasn't crazy I spent my free time with the people that I love and care about.

    I act like a ton of people read my blog, I know that they don't, but that's okay.  For the people that actually do periodically take a look at it, I hope that you had a great holiday season and that the first week and day of the new year has treated you well. 

    Short run down of the end of my year:

    •  I spent the 20th of December with my dad's family for Christmas
      • Gave my dad his specialty popcorn and popcorn seasonings and a beer for Christmas, he loved them booth.
      • We had pizza for our Christmas dinner, which I was totally all for!
    • I spent actual Christmas (25th) with my mom's family. 
      • Gave my mom and Phil their presents
        • Mom told me that she couldn't use the custom cutting board for actual use and probably would display it, gave Phil a blanket that I made.
        • Got presents from them
      • Lots of laughs
      • Selfies with my cousin
      • I dropped a piece of pumpkin pie on my pants
        • I ate it off my pants... Don't judge me.
    • Spent time with Chad on the 28th and 29th 
      • He got his presents from me
        • A mug that looks like a Mario warp pipe (actually got two, but that's a long story)
        • Coasters that I made from tiles, modpodge, felt and beer boxes 
      • My gifts have still not come because he ordered them late, but made him tell me what it was because he could open his. 
      • We had sushi for dinner Monday and then Hardees' for lunch Tuesday because we are awesome
      • Also watched a lot of YouTube videos (big surprise there... not) 
    • Spent New Years Eve with Brittani, Dakota, and a couple of their friends
      • We went to a couple bars
      • Rang in the new year at Steak n' Shake
      • Had a fantastic time as I always do with them!
    Other than those things, life has been pretty normal work and if I'm not at work I am home with my kitties. I bought concert tickets for two more concerts this morning so I now have tickets for five shows this year! Life is great despite being "just normal."  I am really happy with everything that is going on, I start my second to last semester of college in eleven days which is insane, but everything is going to work out.

     "I don't broadcast every high, and I don't hide every low.  I'm trying to live. I'm not trying to convince the world I have a life." - Unknown

    Monday, November 30, 2015

    November 30, 2015;

    Last day of November, that seems crazy.  I can't believe that we only have two more weeks of actual classes and then we have finals.  There is still so much that needs to be done before that time comes, and it is getting a little bit overwhelming, but I will make it out!

    Anyway, last week was Thanksgiving Break, and for only being off two of those nine days I actually got to spend time with family and my boyfriend which was nice.  Sunday, I went to my Mom's family Thanksgiving which we never have on actual Thanksgiving.  I had to leave around one to head back because I had to work, but we did family pictures and had some great food and just got to spend time with family which is always nice.  Then work Sunday night and Monday.

    Then I was off Tuesday, so I drove to see Chad.  I can't even express how excited I am about him being back from Utah and not living seventeen hours away from me! I have missed him an insane amount because seeing my best friend every six months is just not enough, and then with us starting to date I was just so ready for him to be back.  Anyway, he just had gotten into his apartment the day before so we really didn't do a whole lot.  He unpacked some, I re-read all of the letters that I sent him about a year ago and laughed at the fact that he kept the coloring pages and the little Beanie Baby snake that I sent him, we had dinner, we watched TV or maybe I should say I watched TV because he fell asleep on me and I watched a full episode of a show that I was not at all interested in because I; one, didn't know where the remote was and two, didn't want to wake him. Nice quiet evening in, finally being able to catch up on person again when I hadn't seen him since June.  Anyway, I had to leave at around eleven the next day because I had to work and he needed to go get plates and a new license and everything else.

    So, work again Wednesday.  Then THANKSGIVING! I got up early so that I could head to my dad's early because we were having lunch with my grandparent's around eleven and I wanted to get most of my laundry done before we headed over there because I hadn't done any in probably a month other than the one load of just necessities like pants and undergarments.  So, I had a LOT to do! I got that taken care of, we went to my grandparent's house for lunch which my dad had cooked.  We realized after eating that he had forgotten to make the hash brown casserole that he had been planning on making, and he was mad at himself for it, but it was okay because the food was still good. Around 1:45 I went over to my step-grandma's for another Thanksgiving dinner - and yes, I was stuffed by the end of this day! - As soon as I walked in, I was in the kitchen talking to my mom and step-dad.  My mom was looking at something on the stove and was like, "This looks like it is getting really hot whatever it is." Then she said uh-oh and backed up really fast and the glass casserole dish with our stuffing in it EXPLODED! Turns out my step-grandma had accidentally turned on the wrong burner and that was a mistake.  So, we lost all of our stuff.  Phil got his leg cut a little bit from glass shards shooting all over the kitchen.  It was quite a site to see, mom said that it wasn't the first time that she had seen that happen, but it was the first time that she had been so close to it and it wasn't any less scary than any other time.  After that excitement again we just hung out as family and spoke.  I met my new nephew who is almost two months old.  I had to head back that night to pull bread for Friday though so I left around five or so.

    Then I worked the rest of break.  While it didn't feel like it was very long, it was still definitely a good break.  Now just three more weeks of classes and then one whole month of break!

    "In the end, what you do isn't going to be nearly as interesting or important as who you do it with." - John Green

    Tuesday, November 17, 2015

    November 17, 2015;

    I haven't written a post in over a month, oops.  There has just been a lot of things going on lately with school and concerts and work.  I have just been really busy when it comes to things.  I do have to say though it hasn't been too stressful of a time lately. 

    In the last month and seven days I have been two three different concerts (twenty one pilots, Young The Giant, and Sleeping With Sirens and All Time Low),  I have work just as much as I usually do which is nothing new., and then I am just trying to get everything back together with school.  I am pretty pleased with everything that has been happening.  In other super exciting news my best friend/boyfriend will be back in a little under a week and I am super excited to see him next week!

    I really haven't done anything else besides school, work, and concerts.  Those few things keep me busy enough as it is.  Thanksgiving break is next week, I work all but two days of that which isn't a surprise, but it will be nice to not be bombarded with classes and work all that the same time like I usually am.  Then after that we only have two weeks of classes before finals.  I can't believe that the semester is basically over.  I also can't believe that I am going to be done with my undergrad come next December.  It totally doesn't feel like I only have one more year once this semester is over!

    Anyway, since I hadn't posted in a while I just wanted to try to check in a little even if I haven't been doing much lately.

    "It's not what the world holds for you.  It's what you bring to it." - Unknown

    Saturday, October 10, 2015

    October 10, 2015;

    You know it is really weird how two weeks can change everything in your life.  Honestly two days can which is even crazier.  Still the amount of things that have changed for me in the last two weeks since I last posted seem nuts to me. 

    I just have to say that I am honestly happier right now than I have been in a while.  Not to say that I haven't been happy or anything, because I definitely have been, but just some of the events that have happened in my life the last couple of days actually just have made me utterly fantastic.  For once my life actually feels like it might be in order, yeah I am working a LOT (almost 43 hours this week) and yeah I still have crazy amounts of school work going on right now, but everything feels right.  I don't really know how to explain it without going into immense detail which I don't feel like doing at the moment, but for the first time in almost two years everything feels like it is in line and like it is actually headed in the correct direction and might not veer off for once.

    I know that was vague and this is short, but it is also not like too many people actually pay attention to this and read it all.  If you do, and you actually know me and want to know more then yeah I probably can fill you in on more of this, but right now I am going to just keep details to myself.

    "She didn't need to be saved. She needed to be found and appreciated, for exactly who she was." - Unknown