July 11, 2015;

A few blog posts ago I talked about having a better time with experiences than with actual objects and tangible items. Well, last night I got to have another one of those experiences! I went to the Aaron Gillespie and William Beckett concert which I have had tickets for for quite a long time so that was really exciting.  I went with my mom which was a lot of fun because she hasn't been to a concert with me in a long time.

I just want to say that it was the most laid back concert that I have ever been to.  The guys were selling their own merchandise and having genuine conversations with each other and it was seriously the best thing that could be happening at any show. I finally got to meet William which is insane because the first time that I say him perform was a little over seven years ago in 2008 at my first Warped Tour when he was with The Academy Is... I learned he is a Parks and Recreation fan which made me even more excited.  I even got one of his shirts which has Ron Swanson on it and says Ron Swanson Approved.  It is too big though so it is going to be a sleep shirt unless I re-purpose it and deconstruct then reconstruct it to make it fit better which I might do in the future but not yet.  He also signed a poster for me.  Then I also go Aaron's signature on my ticket so it was a good time.

There weren't a lot of people there which really surprised me. I mean it made it so it wasn't super crowded which was nice but I almost feel bad when there isn't a better turnout than there was, but it was still a really awesome show that they put on.  I met another girl who was just as excited about meeting William as I was and we followed each other on Twitter to keep track of each other.  That is another thing that I just love about concerts because I have quite a few friends who are just people that I met at a concert.

Both William and Aaron played songs that I wanted to hear which made me really happy because no matter what the show is obviously going to be great if they are great musicians, but when you have a specific song that you want to hear and then you don't get to hear that song it is a little bit disappointing.  I didn't have to worry about that though which made me really happy.

Anyway, we didn't get back to my aunt's until about 1:30 and then I didn't get to sleep until about 2 only to have to get up at 6:15 because I had to drive almost an hour and a half back this morning because I had to work.  I was really tired all day while at work so when I got off I took an almost hour and a half nap once I was home.  Nothing else has really been going on I just needed to share the fantastic concert.

"I just want to go on more adventures. Be around good energy. Connect with people. Learn new things. Grow." - Unknown

July 2, 2015;

I have been thinking about a lot of things lately.  I really don't know where these thoughts are sparking from, but I know that I have been having them.  I also know that at least one of them is something that someone is going to read and be like "Okay, you need to rethink that." or "You just aren't old enough to understand what you want."

These things have been ideas about what I see in my future for things such as marriage and children.  We grow up in a society that pushes marriage and children on everyone who is a part of it, and up until maybe a few months ago, I didn't really even think a thing of it even though we talked about it in short spurts during my sociology class the fall semester of my sophomore year (last fall).

Lately things have been going through my head and here is a few of those things.  If you know anything about me then you know I have been married before.  I got married when I was seventeen and that obviously ended in divorce.  Okay, no big deal (at least not anymore) it was just something that happened, but it is something that will never define me.  Lately though, I have been thinking about being married, not because I am looking to get married again any time soon, which is exactly what I want to talk about.  Honestly I don't even know if I would care to get married if I found someone else who felt the exact same way.  Like the only reason I think you need to get married is if you are looking for the legal opportunities, because to me if you care about the person then what is written doesn't matter.  That may seem crazy to some people, but lately it has been my thought.  I also have been thinking that if I do get married then I don't want another big wedding.  There are a few reasons for this. 

1. They are a pain in the ass to plan
2. They can honestly just be completely stressful
3. They are really just for the show and not really anything to do with the couple themselves, it's mostly about the pictures.

For me, if I get married again, I want it to be a small wedding with just close family and a very few close close friends. Nothing extravagant, nothing crazy, nothing huge. I want something small and intimate.

The second thing that is probably the even more controversial topic that I am going to get to is children. It came up in a conversation (which I don't even remember what led to it) about me saying I don't know if I want children. They said something about how they felt the could be happy with kids that weren't biologically their own.  This made me think about it in another light, because I feel sometimes I want children, but other times I just don't know.  To think about how I would feel about adopting children changed my mindset completely.

There are so many children out there who do not have families. I think that I could honestly be more fulfilled to have a child who wasn't my own if I knew that I was going to be giving that child a loving and safe home.  I didn't ever think that was what I would be thinking because growing up I thought that I wanted to have three kids and adoption was never something that I ever had in my brain.  Really though, I think that I would be more than happy to give a child and amazing, loving, safe home rather than having my own children.

Now that is the topic that I feel someone is going to be like you aren't old enough to make that decision yet, you don't know what you are talking about blah blah blah... But you have to hear me out.  I do know that the world is currently over populated and that there are many children who are in the foster care system.  To back that up here is a statistic I pulled from the Congressional Correlation on Adoption Institution (CCAI):

In the U.S. 397,122 children are living without permanent families in the foster care system. 101,666 of these children are eligible for adoption, but nearly 32% of these children will wait over three years in foster care before being adopted.

That seems insane to me. The fact that there are that many children in the United States ALONE even furthers my thoughts on adoption.  I don't see why I couldn't be fulfilled in having a child who may not biologically be my own, but I could still love just as much as if they were.

So before telling me that I don't know for sure what I want think about all of the factors. Also remember, you aren't me. And I will admit, that I may change my mind in the future, and I can't say that I won't because the future holds so many things that I don't know right now, and that isn't a bad thing.  Right now this is what I know and this is what I feel though, and I think that should be enough.