May 18, 2014;

Warning: This post is going probably turn out being super sappy and all up in the feelings, but I don't even care! Just thought I would warn everyone.

This picture was taken two years ago today.

Two years ago I graduated high school.  I was dead set determined that I knew what I was going to do with my life.  I was going to get married less than a month later, work for two years and then go back to school for myself to become an elementary teacher.

Things on that path have definitely changed.  While some followed through a lot of them did change in ways that two years ago I never would have expected them to. Today I sat in the bleachers of Paris R-II High School again, this time as an onlooker of the graduation of my best friend.  She has been there for me through everything and I don't know what I would do without her.

Danielle is the best friend that I gained and kept through high school.  She has been the one who has seen me through the hard times of everything from divorce to my first test and finals that I experienced my freshman year of college and I have seen her through some things as well.

At this time in my life I have changed my path.  I just finished my freshman year of college.  As planned I started out as an education major to become an elementary teacher only to change my mind along the way through the first semester and realize that I truly wanted to go into psychology and be a counselor.  I met Brendan in the process of this second semester and don't know what I would do without him.  One thing I do know is that I wouldn't have passed Art History with a 99% if it hadn't been for him pushing me to study and us studying together for those tests that set us so high up in the class from the very beginning.

Another thing that I have learned from the past two years is not to be afraid of change.  You can't change things that happen to you and you can't make them go the way you planned all of the time.  It really just doesn't work that way.  You just have to let things go the way that they are set out for you and follow those plans as they come along.  Sometimes things aren't at all the way they seemed to be in the beginning and those change you, but they can change you for the better. In the end it all works out for you and you find new experiences that you never would have known about it your original plans panned out.

So once again, I want to say congratulations to Danielle, the gorgeous best friend that I could ask for and a sister that I never had as well as congratulations to all of the other graduates of 2014, be it pre-schoolers, high schoolers, or college graduates! You all are set out to do great things and if you put your mind to it, it will happen!

"Just because your path is dark now doesn't mean that you won't see light again.  Maybe it just means you need to open a new door or pull that blindfold off your eyes to reveal the brightest light you have ever seen." - Shelby Baclesse (ME!)

May 13, 2014;

Since I last posted in here a few things have happened, including:

• Finishing my freshman year of college
• Moving out of the dorms and in with my best friend
• Sleeping on Sara's couch until her other roommate moved out
• Getting all of my stuff moved in after she left last Sunday
• Having yet to finish putting everything away
• Finished my boyfriend's birthday present - who I would also like to mention is now a little over two hours away from me, and I miss him
• And learning that I got all A's and B's in my classes for the semester

 It has been a little bit crazy the last few days with all of those things happening, but it is nice to finally be living with my best friend, we already made our first dinner as roomies! It is going to be a good summer as well as a good year next year I can already feel it.

Another thing that is happening is that I am getting more hours at work since it is summer. It is nice to be raised back up to the maximum number of hours that I am aloud to have again.  I do wish though I could have more, but because of all the new things I am not allowed which is stupid because I wouldn't even take the insurance offer that they give me since I am still on my step-dad's insurance from his work, but whatever it's fine I guess.

So that is what my summer is going to consist of working, spending time with Sara, seeing Brendan whenever possible even though I don't know how often that will be, and sleeping.  I mean I am sure that there are going to be other exciting things for me to talk about, but right now that is currently what I know is going to happen this summer besides a couple of concerts (Panic! At The Disco and Warped). It's going to be a good summer.

 Today was just a really long day. I didn't really do much besides sleep and work, but I worked for 8.79 hours today and it completely wore me out. I have pains in my legs and feet from being on my feet for a good amount of time.  I will survive though, I only work four hours tomorrow so I guess that counteracts it. Anyway, here is a quote:

"When you have a bad day, a really bad day, try and treat the world better than it treated you." - Patrick Stump

May 5, 2014;

I know it has been too long since I last typed up a blog post.  My apologies but for the last few weeks it seems that all I have been is busy. My group in Psychology finished our experiment and presentation and everything, my group in religion finished our project and presented, I have had papers and work and everything has just been really kind of crazy.

This week is finals week.  This morning I had my statistics final at 7:30 in the morning.  I finished it feeling really really good about.  My feeling was actually right.  At dinner I was looking at my grades and saw that my grade had gone up to an 80%.  I already the night before had calculated that I needed and 86% to get a B with my homework included so I figured that was what I got.  NO! I looked at it just to see and found that I actually ended up with a 97% on my final test that I took this morning! I don't know how I did it because it meant that I missed one question! I was in complete amazement and I am so excited!

After the statistics final though I had my religion one at 10:30 and then my psychology one at 1:30.  Neither of those were that bad. After that I ran to the bank and then to Dollar General.  After that Brendan came over so we could study for Art History.  We actually ended up taking a nap for about an hour and a half because I was exhausted from getting up early and then we studied after that and went to dinner and then came back again to study some more.  We are also getting up a little after 9:30 and studying more before the final at 1:30. 

Then after that I only have one final left and I am done by 12:30 or earlier on Wednesday and I start moving everything into my best friend's house which will soon be my house as well! I cannot wait to do that.  We spend enough time together, it is going to be awesome to live together! We already have planned that we are going to have an ugly sweater party right after I move in and just are going to crank up the air and we both already bought our sweaters.  Also, we plan to have a Christmas one later! It is going to be pretty great!

I am going to try to do way better this month than I did last month. Especially since I will only be worrying about work and not school over the summer. It will be better.

Here is a good quote for the end of the semester:

"Why worry? If you've done the very best you can, worrying won't make it any better." - Walt Disney

April 19, 2014;

I have to say that last week was a rough week up until Thursday.  Then Thursday at about 2:15 made everything better again. That was when I got to pack up a bag that was for until this morning so I could go to Brendan's house and get to meet his family!

Since I had to work the weekend I had to follow Brendan in my own car because he had an interview for a summer job today.  We talked the whole way there and I was alright with driving until we got on 40 and then traffic started getting worse and it made me a little bit nervous.  I guess I really didn't realize it until we got to his house and I got out.  I realized that I really needed a hug and that my fingers were so stiff from gripping my steering wheel so tightly.  I was okay though after I got a hug and flexed my fingers a little.  Then I got to meet the doggies! They seemed quite excited to see people and also the fact of getting to see someone who they didn't know at all, that probably made them even more excited!

Pretty soon after we got back Brendan's mom and grandma got there from work and we headed to dinner.  They took me to a place called Farotto's and I have to say that it was some of the best Italian food that I have ever had in my own.  One way to tell that is because I never ever eat leftovers from a restaurant because I just don't.  That was not the case here, I actually had them for dinner when I got home from work today.  I had a red pesto cheese tortellini, and it was absolutely amazing! Then they also ordered an appetizer sampler and I think that I had some of the best cheesy garlic bread and AMAZING fried cheese sticks.  Mmm...

The rest of that night really just consisted of a little bit of Dexter and sleeping.

Then Friday we had to take Brendan's car to get the oil change, then we went back to his house and ate breakfast.  I had Honey Nut Cheerios with blueberries and strawberries (that Brendan's mom bought me!) and orange juice. After that we just hung around and then went back to get his car and then... wait for it! My amazing boyfriend took me to The Butterfly House!

I have wanted to go to The Butterfly House for about four years and in that period of time I never have been able to do so, because no one would ever take me or had the time or just wouldn't take me because they were dumb. Anyway though, he took me, and I was so excited! We got inside and there were so many different butterflies.  They were literally everywhere! So many of them flying around and some of them never landing at least not in places that I could get pictures, I did get some of them though.  So pretty.

After we left there though we headed over to his dad's house before we headed to his grandparent's and great-grandma's house.  Though while Brendan and his dad were loading up the truck with fire wood and tables and chairs, his little half-brother Gus was telling me about the dogs and house and where to go with a tornado.  He was talking to me and at the same time seemed a little bit shy.  We stopped and grabbed something small at Taco Bell too before we got over there because no one had eaten anything yet.  It's really funny, when Brendan went to meet my dad we had Taco Bell for lunch and then I go and meet his and he buys us Taco Bell too. Probably because one of the only fast food places both of us even enjoy is that, so it makes a good amount of sense, but still.

Anyway, after that and getting over to his grandparents and great-grandma's house is when I started meeting everyone in his family.  I have to say that they all made me feel right at home and that I was so glad to be able to meet them all.  Of course I was slightly nervous to begin with, but definitely I was able to just talk to people about both myself and just in general and it made it even more enjoyable because I wasn't attached at the hip with Brendan and I was getting along great with his family (or at least it felt like I was, so I really am hoping that they liked me too!) I just think that it was amazing how welcome they all made me feel.

In this time I almost won their family tradition game.  It ended up being me against Brendan's step-mom Kelly.  I am not sure how he would have felt about it if I had won, but I didn't.   Anyway, I just felt like I was at home and they made me feel comfortable and not at all awkward around them which was really nice. 

We headed back to his other grandma's house after that and stayed up a little while before going to bed because I had to get up at seven this morning to get everything picked back up and head back to Fayette because I had to work at 11 this morning which was annoying.  We were really busy until after Corey left and then we slowed down until Sean got there and then we picked back up for like an hour and then it died off again and I left at like 5:22. 

After I got off work I actually went on an almost two mile walk around town, then started laundry, and showered and then had dinner.  I am trying to do better about eating more healthy and also attempting to eat three meals a day and exercise more.  I plan to do a better job of that this summer for sure, I want to look better and even more so feel better when it comes to things so I think that I finally am determined to do a better job of taking care of myself.

Right now I am talking to Brendan before I go to bed because I have to be at work by 8:15 tomorrow morning until 1:30, then I am going home for the night probably. I may be back tomorrow night I just haven't decided yet. I guess that we will see, I need to get to bed, tomorrow is going to be another long day that is definitely for sure.  I have just had a busy busy weekend and next week is going to be really busy too! School is over pretty soon, that's crazy to think about.

"I am not an adventurer by choice but by fate." - Vincent van Gogh

April 13, 2014;

Honestly there has been so much going on these past few weeks I don't even know what to talk about.  I know a lot of things that have happened, but honestly I have no idea what day they were on so I will just talk about them I guess because if I try to figure out when they actually happened I would be up until like one in the morning and I can't handle that tonight.

I believe it was the day after Brendan and I went to Steak and Shake we decided that we were going to go to Columbia again because we both wanted sushi.  I didn't want to go originally because I didn't want to think about spending money, and so Brendan decided that he wanted to go bad enough that he paid for it.  We both decided to try rolls that we hadn't tried before, I didn't like mine as much as the other two that I have tried and he didn't like his as much either as the first time, but we liked them enough that we ate them and were happy about it. 

Another thing that happened was the All Time Low concert.  I hate sadly to say that I didn't enjoy myself here.  It wasn't that All Time Low themselves were bad by any means because they were GREAT... when I could hear them.  This crowd was the most disrespectful crowd that I had ever seen before in my life.  Seriously, never before have I been in a crowd of people who are so loud that you can't even hear what is being said or sang.  I also haven't ever been to a concert where someone is flashing the stage because they are so drunk.  I am sorry, but I don't think that these things are respectful to the people around you or the bands themselves.  The other two bands were also pretty crappy so that wasn't the best thing ever. Oh well though, I just kind of wish that I hadn't spent my money on it, but it happened and it was an experience I guess that is all that I can say. 

Speaking off concerts... Guess who is going to see Panic! At The Disco for a second time this year.  I was scared to never get to see them in my life and now I am getting to see them for a second time in a matter of seven months.  Not only that I get to see them ON MY BIRTHDAY! I have to say that I have the best boyfriend in the world.  Not only did he buy me those tickets, but he also bought me the tickets to the pit area of the amphitheater which are the most expensive tickets.  I have to say that he is pretty great.

Also, I had to run home for something on Friday night so Brendan went with me and he got to meet my step sister and nephews and my step-grandma.  So he just keep meeting more and more family all the time.

I am sure there are other things that I have done in the last like ten days, but I really don't have a clue what they are.  I do know that I am following Brendan home to his house on Thursday because I am going to get to meet some family.  Actually going to get to meet a lot of family Friday.  I am really excited to finally meet some.  Like I said he has met plenty of mine, maybe not all under best circumstances, but he still has met them. It is my turn! (:

"From the moment we started talking I knew I wanted you around." - Anonymous

April 4, 2014;

It has been a little over a week since I last posted.  Last week was a bad week, and I just don't know what I was doing for most of the time.  This last one up until today has been much better though and I am glad to say that I don't know what I would do without the people who are in my life.

Really the only thing that has been all that exciting is the fact that going on this week was that I fell off the bed and scraped the heck out of my back and I bruised my ear.  It was rather interesting.  I am still rather uncertain about how you can manage to bruise an ear but I did it.

Tonight, Brendan and I went to Steak & Shake for dinner.  We have spent basically the last almost forty-eight hours together and I think that made me a little bit testy with him.  I wasn't being very nice and for some reason everything was getting on my nerves.  So after we left, I apologized and got a little better. I'd changed my mind instead of having a shake I wanted to have frozen yogurt from Orange Leaf... so okay that was going to happen.  Well, we got over there and we saw so many people were there that for some weird reason, I started having some amount of a panic attack.  We didn't even go in, but for some reason it freaked me out to even think about being in that building with all those people.

Instead we went to Wal-Mart and got a few things that we needed and I decided that buying Ben & Jerry's That's My Jam - Core ice cream was a better choice... I decided that it definitely was because since we bought spoons too, the two of us ate basically all of it on the way home (more of it I ate because I really just wanted it) and I will say it is some of my favorite ice cream that I have in a long time.

We also had the terrifying experience of having what they believed was a gunman on campus last night.  It ended up that the phone call that came into the police office was a hoax but it was still scary.  Brendan and I had gone to Sara's concert that night and were hanging out at her house for a while.  Well, when we went back we were headed up the steps to go inside and Sara calls me and tells me that I need to get inside and lock doors because MaryRose was alerted about it and they had the con on lock down. It was rather ridiculous because while almost every one found out at 10:30, we didn't get an alert from the school until 11, and then ended up not getting an all clear until 1 in the morning.  Brendan and I were already all asleep by that time it was just easier than being awake worrying, plus I fell asleep watching Dexter.

Speaking of Dexter we are halfway through the second to last season.  I am really excited to finish it, but I am going to be somewhat sad because it was what made Brendan and I bond in the beginning, we will have to get into another show after this one is done.

Tonight though I am letting myself have a little bit of alone time.  I have to work at 8:15 in the morning because it is going to be really busy tomorrow and that means I have all of Sunday off.  I figured that it would be a great time now to get a blog post done, and I am also watching some of Chad's videos because I haven't watched very many for the last two months.  I figured I should get back into watching them again because I really do enjoy watching them.  They make me laugh, he's a bit of a mess, and I am so glad that I can call him one of my best friends still!

Anyway, nothing else major other than Sunday is going to be awesome because ALL TIME LOW! I am really excited to be able to see them again.  It will be so much fun! Anyway, quote time then I have three more minutes of this video of Chad's and then I'll be heading to bed.

"Sometimes you meet someone and it's so clear that the two of you, on some level, belong together.  As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different.  You just work whether you understand each other or you're in love or you're partners in crime.  You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don't know if it makes me believe in fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something." - Anonymous.

March 26, 2014;

Nothing really that exciting is changing in my life currently.  I am still balancing everything that has to do with school and work along with friends and family. 

Family has been one of the biggest things in the recent past.  We lost a family member earlier this week and even though I haven't been home I know it has been hard on me alone so I can't even imagine what it has been like on everyone else.  It was something that we were expecting, but even when you are expecting it you never really know exactly how things will feel until they actually happen.  So, that's been a big thing this week for me.

In my last post on the 22nd I said I couldn't remember what I did the Wednesday that I was off... which makes me feel like a huge idiot! I went to a We The Kings concert with Sara and Danielle.  I have no idea how I forgot to talk about that... Concerts are something that I don't usually forget about and this one was actually a really good one so I feel kind of ridiculous that I forgot about it.  It was We The Kings with This Century and Crash The Party as the front people. It was the sixth time that I got to see them play in concert, still no Travis Clark meeting, I told Sara we need to basically stalk them at Warped Tour! Anyway, that's what my Wednesday was, still can't believe that I forgot all about that.

The only other real thing that I have to say right now is that I have given up on my 365 project.  I was doing well, but have gotten so far behind on uploading and have forgotten so many days over the past over two months that I in no way will be able to catch up again.  I don't know what happened on all the days and I don't appreciate some of the photos as much as I want to.  This being said I plan to upload the ones that I do still love from all of them to my Flickr and Facebook photography page, but just won't have my long descriptions.  It helped me get back into photography again so I have to say that it did what I was intending for it to do.  It has helped me fall in love with something I love doing again.

“You need coffee shops and sunsets and roadtrips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else. A living, breathing, screaming invitation to believe better things.” – Jamie Tworkowski